Rating : NC17
Genre : High School AU
Summary : Gabriel was a geeky high school boy until he met fashion student Mohinder Suresh and did some modelling. After they almost kissed Gabriel agreed to meet Mohinder at his friend Wes's party, but Wes had some sexy ideas of his own! Now Gabriel has agreed to go back to Mohinder's place.
They had sat in near silence on the train, the bright lights making them both feel exposed and sober. Their only moment of connection had occurred when some drunk girls tried to hit on them both and they had grinned at each other knowingly.
Now, as they stood at Mohinder’s door and his hand tremored with the key Gabriel was afraid. He was afraid of how far he would let Mohinder go, and what would happen afterwards. He was afraid that he might be in love. Mostly he was afraid that he’d notice he’d just been sucked off by another man.
Gabriel followed Mohinder inside silently, looking around at the room. The place was clearly inhabited by someone creative – everything seemed to be piled, stacked and grouped by colour. There was a plastic work table heaving under fabric swatches and drawings, a tall stack of books teetering next to a clothes rack with half completed garments on it. On the walls were dozens of pictures frames, large and small, all different colours. All those different people who owned a little bit of Mohinder made Gabriel feel slightly jealous. He wondered whether this Michael that Wes had told him about was up there somewhere, looking down on him, warning off, telling him he would have his heart broken.
An incessant squeaking pulled Gabriel back into the real world and he saw Mohinder reaching under the bed, pulling at something and swearing under his breath.
“Do you need a hand?” he offered, trying to see what the problem was.
“I’m trying to turn it back into a sofa. Sorry, it sticks sometimes and….” He grimaced as something metallic and unyielding snapped on his hand. “Shit! Ow! Sorry…”
“It’s fine, can’t we just…sit on it while it’s a bed?” Gabriel shrugged, bending down to untie his shoelaces.
Mohinder smiled shyly. “Of course, yes, that’s a good idea.” He kicked off his own shoes and sat on the side of the bed furthest from the door, checking that there was nothing in or on the bed which might cause him any embarrassment. He watched Gabriel stand and walk towards the bed, his long legs looking even more so in the light grey of his trousers. He settled down next to Mohinder and took his hand boldly, stroking his fingers.
“I’m so glad you came tonight, I…I’m just glad.” Gabriel couldn’t make eye contact with him, looking anywhere but at Mohinder while there was a still a bright and insistent light showing his every movement. Mohinder jumped up as if reading his mind and lit the bedside lamp. He walked back to the door and turned off the main light, casting Gabriel in a warm golden glow. He had to keep reminding himself that Gabriel was only eighteen, he looked older, more assured. There was the occasional stammer or wide eyed look which gave him away, but you had to look for it. Mohinder worried that he wasn’t noticing Gabriel’s tells, that he might take advantage.
Sitting back down, Mohinder took Gabriel’s hand this time. “Gabriel, listen, about the other day at the photo shoot…”
It was a mistake. I was never going to kiss you. Gabriel’s mind started to end Mohinder’s sentences for him.
“I’m sorry about what happened…”
But I never wanted you, why would I?
“I panicked when Mischa came back…”
Because I was so embarrassed to be caught with you.
“And afterwards I really regretted it.”
Because you’re just a loser and someone like me could never care about someone like you.
Gabriel’s heart throbbed in his chest, and years of rejection, unrequited love, confusion and denial flooded his consciousness. This confidence that Mohinder had given him was young and weak, no match for the self-doubt that had been bred in Gabriel ever since he had discovered how cruel children could be. “It’s okay Mohinder…” he said quietly, bowing his head into its default position. He felt the tears pricking at him and wished so much he had just stayed at home tonight, stayed away from people who might hurt him. He dug his fingernails into his palm and gritted his teeth.
“It’s not okay Gabriel, I felt like such an idiot. It’s just…I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea about me, it might have looked like I was trying to…well, seduce you.”
“I didn’t get the wrong idea Mohinder, really.” He lied. “I knew you weren’t interested in me, I didn’t tell anyone….”
“Wait, what?” Mohinder gripped Gabriel’s hands trying to get him to raise his head. “Of course I’m interested in you, that’s why I was so angry at myself for scaring you off like that!”
Gabriel looked up, aware that there might already be tears in his eyes. “What?”
Mohinder edged closer to him, desperate to take him into his arms. “I’m more than interested Gabriel, why wouldn’t I be? You’re gorgeous, you’re sweet and honest and smart.....” Mohinder smiled, shaking his head. “I’ve been a nightmare this past week, I’ve been thinking about you non-stop.”
Gabriel just sat, taking all this in and starting to smile. “You’re interested in me? Really?”
Mohinder reached up slowly and stroked Gabriel’s cheek with the backs of his fingers. “Gabriel, how could you ever doubt it?” He leaned in slowly, waiting for Gabriel to meet him because although it should have been clear how strong the mutual attraction was it seemed like Mohinder was getting everything he wanted, and that was alien to him.
The moment their lips touched could only ever have been an anti-climax, but the kiss itself seemed perfect. Electricity moved between the places where they touched, where Gabriel’s hand cupped Mohinder’s hip, where Mohinder’s knee brushed against Gabriel’s thigh. There was a sense of “it’s happened, it’s still happening” for both of them as they shifted slightly, one edging forward, the other twisting, re-positioning as they tried to keep the time that their lips were apart to the bare minimum.
When they were finally forced to come up for air they giggled, Mohinder sliding down in the bed and taking hold of Gabriel’s hand while he looked on, adoring. “I hope you don’t think I’m being presumptuous, but would you stay? Not for…I just don’t want to say goodbye to you tonight.”
Gabriel smiled, wondering how Mohinder always knew the right thing to say. “I’d like that. I’d like us to talk, I don’t feel like I know enough about you.”
“Do you want to call home and tell them? There’s a payphone in the hall, I think I have a quarter here somewhere….”
“Actually….” Gabriel felt himself blushing again. “I already kind of told my Dad I wouldn’t be home tonight.”
Mohinder grinned and prodded him playfully in the shoulder. “You little slut!”
“No! I just…I just figured…you know…if nothing happened then, I could just go home and say I changed my mind.” Gabriel giggled, putting his hands to his cheeks to assess how hot he was.
“Well….” Mohinder rolled himself off the bed. “I’m going to get into something more comfortable, do you want to borrow a tshirt?”
“Yeah, that would be great.” Gabriel stood, starting to unbutton his shirt but pausing when he saw Mohinder looking at him with a familiar hunger in his eyes.
“Sorry,” he tossed a blue tshirt onto the bed and gathered another from the wardrobe. “I hope you don’t think I’m overly shy, but I think I’ll get changed in the bathroom or we might get…carried away.” He darted into the small en suite with an embarrassed smile and Gabriel grinned at the implication.
Gabriel undressed quickly, folding his clothes and placing them on a battered armchair. I hope you don’t think I’m overly shy, but I think I’ll get changed in the bathroom or I might jump you if I see you without your clothes. I might be compelled to lick every exposed inch of your skin you sexy bastard. Gabriel grinned again, settling himself under the covers and silently thanking God that Mohinder wouldn’t know he’d been with Wes tonight.
When Mohinder walked out of the bathroom in his long sleeved white tee and matching boxers Gabriel couldn’t stop himself from staring. The shirt was that thin, soft material that long johns were made of and it fit Mohinder’s form beautifully. “Wow, you have great legs.”
Mohinder laughed, climbing into bed. “Thankyou very much, you have great everything. Which reminds me, the photos are developed, do you want to see?”
Gabriel took a deep breath. “I guess. Are they okay?”
Mohinder laughed, “Oh darling, they’re more than okay, they’re perfect.” He leaned over the side of the bed and retrieved a folder full to bursting with pictures. “There are dozens of them, these are the best.” He pulled out a stack and shuffled closer to Gabriel, started to show them.
“Oh my God.” Gabriel thought the pictures looked a different person. He looked handsome, confident, special. “These are great, your designs look really good.”
“You look really good, ah, this one is my favourite.” The picture was basically an outtake, Gabriel was laughing, his smile huge, his eyes bright and his body slightly bent forward, one hand in the pocket of the royal blue suit. “I haven’t stopped looking at this one all week.”
“What about that one?” Gabriel pointed to a photo sticking out from a pile of books on a shelf on the nightstand.
Mohinder looked guilty. “Oh er..that’s just one I can’t use. I’m in it. It was a candid that Mischa took.”
“Can I see it?”
Sighing, Mohinder reached and handed it to him. In the picture he and Mohinder were looking directly at one another as he had his collar fixed. It was a moment that he never realised had happened, a split second when their eyes had met and only the speed of the camera shutter had noticed. The look between them said so much, longed for so much, and it stirred something in Gabriel which he thought he was going to be able to keep hidden.
“Mohinder, who’s Michael?”
Mohinder looked up, startled. “How…how do you know that name?”
Gabriel bowed his head. He didn’t want to ruin this night but he couldn’t carry on as if he wasn’t terrified that he was going to be used and cast aside by the one man he felt he might fall in love with. “Wes told me…”
Mohinder rolled his eyes, stopping Gabriel’s explanation on his tongue. “Wes…I should have known. Lizzy never could keep her mouth shut. How much did he tell you? Please don’t say he bored you with the whole sorry saga.”
Gabriel felt bad for ever bringing it up, Mohinder was clearly upset and he couldn’t take it back. He felt like a stupid gossiping teenager but he wanted Mohinder to know, and to explain if he could. “He told me you…asked him to model for you, then slept with him and dumped him.”
Mohinder looked as if he’d been slapped. “What? But why would he…why would he say that? Why would he think that?” He looked up at Gabriel, squeezing his arm. “Oh God Gabriel, you didn’t believe that did you? You didn’t think that’s what this was?”
“No, no not really, but he seemed so genuine, like he was warning me.”
Mohinder shook his head, disbelieving. “Wes is a sweet kid, I can’t believe he’d lie maliciously. I wonder if Michael got to him too….”
Gabriel stroked his hand through Mohinder’s curls, trying to comfort rather than pry. “What happened Mohinder? Please tell me.”
Suddenly looking like he might cry Mohinder hugged Gabriel, resting his head on his shoulder. “It’s true I asked him to model for me, he was…well he was shy like you, an engineering student, but he had something about him. We did the photo shoot, and a scout from an agency saw them in Mischa’s studio and signed him for some other work. Suddenly, he was like a different person. We’d been seeing each other, he was the first man I ever slept with and I….well, I was in love with him. But the more attention he got for his new look, the more distant he became. Apparently by the time he very publicly dumped me he’d already slept with most of my friends. I lost them, and him, and it was the worst time of my entire life.”
Gabriel closed his eyes, squeezing Mohinder tight. “God, I’m so sorry. Here I was almost accusing you and…I’m sorry that happened to you.”
“I’m over it now. And I don’t blame you for being worried, I mean the similarities to what happened with him are pretty startling. Though I can’t imagine you ever being so cruel as he was.”
Gabriel kissed Mohinder on the head, nuzzling into his hair. “I would never…I could never do that you Mohinder. Tonight at the party, people were treating me differently, like having nice clothes made me a better person. Well they haven’t. I’m the same person, as I always was, maybe a little more confident, but I would never be cruel, and I would never ….” He trailed off, realising what he’d done with Wes and how it might hurt Mohinder. He should tell him, get it out of the way, but he was scared.
Mohinder looked at him, his eyes glassy where tears had threatened to fall. “What’s wrong?” Gabriel was deathly pale and looked like he was about to cry too. “Gabriel what’s the matter?”
Gabriel hung his head. “Oh Mohinder, I’m sorry, I’m so ashamed…”
“Hey, hey, shhh.” Mohinder gathered him in his arms. “What could you possibly have to be ashamed about?”
A tear escaping down his cheek, Gabriel breathed deep. “Tonight, when I got to the party, Wes pulled me into his room and he….well, we…did some stuff…and…Oh God, please don’t be angry, it didn’t mean anything, it just took me by surprise and I was…I’ve just been so confused lately, I’ve been having these feelings that I’ve never had before.”
Mohinder shushed him gently as he held him. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Gabriel started to cry, unable to hold back any longer. He felt so strange about everything that had happened and he immediately regretted what he’d done with Wes as he sat there embraced and protected by the older man. “I….I wasn’t…”
Mohinder just wiped his tears away and clung to him. “You’ve had a strange night tonight haven’t you darling? Was this…with Wes, was it your first time?”
Gabriel nodded. “We didn’t…you know, I just…touched him and he..went down on me and then I left.” He closed his eyes and tried to settle in Mohinder’s arms, praying that he wouldn’t get angry. “Mohinder can you forgive me? I didn’t plan it, I swear.” His voice was shaking and he suddenly felt very young.
“Gabriel you’ve done nothing wrong, there’s nothing to forgive. Please don’t be upset, this last week must have been very confusing for you. This doesn’t change anything, I still want to be with you.” He kissed Gabriel’s warm cheek and smoothed his hair. “If that’s what you want too.”
Gabriel laughed sadly. “Of course it is. I made a silly mistake but it’s you I want. I could never have imagined I’d get the chance to even talk to someone like you and here I am almost messing it up!”
“Someone like me? I feel like an alien!” Mohinder smiled as he lay himself down in the bed and snuggled up to Gabriel when he followed.
“Well, I mean…people as beautiful as you don’t have to be wonderful too.”
“I’m wonderful?” Mohinder kissed Gabriel’s lips gently as he lay over him.
“Mmm hmm.” Gabriel closed his eyes and just reacted to Mohinder’s touch. This kiss, if anything, was better than the first. Mohinder laying against him, their tongues just brushing, making Gabriel’s cock twitch every time they did. No matter what he had thought before there was a part of his brain telling that if he was hard and laying on his back underneath a very attractive man who was kissing him, sex was not going to be far away. He moaned softly as Mohinder deepened the kiss, and placed one hand on the back of his thigh, the other on his waist. Mohinder was hard too, Gabriel could feel his erection pressing against his leg and wondered how long it would be before either of them acknowledged it. He ground against Mohinder ever so slightly and froze as he broke the kiss and stared at him.
“Gabriel…I…I don’t know if I’d be able to stop, I…”
“Then don’t stop.” Gabriel refused to look away from him, challenging him to give him the benefit of the doubt. “I want it, Mohinder. I want you.”
Mohinder looked at Gabriel, thinking. He was 18, an adult, and he could make his own decisions. Still something niggled at him. “I don’t know Gabriel, something doesn’t feel quite right about this…”
Gabriel pulled him down for a kiss, slipping his hand into Mohinder’s boxers and stroking over his ass “How does that feel?”
Mohinder shivered and moaned, grinding against Gabriel and straddling him while he threw off his tshirt and went for his partner’s. Tossing them both to one side he pressed his chest against Gabriel’s and felt their hearts beating, both of them more excited about the prospect of being physically intimate than they might ever be again. Mohinder dropped kisses from Gabriel’s shoulder up to his jaw and stroked his hand through his chest hair. When he was half naked he didn’t look so young and innocent. Even now there was a darkness in his eyes and he was surprisingly dominant , holding Mohinder in place and rubbing against him, touching as much of his skin as he could get to. “God…” Gabriel’s eyes were darting all over Mohinder’s body, trying to drink it all in. Suddenly he rolled them over, pinning Mohinder underneath him and holding his hands above his head by the wrists, kissing his neck and shifting to let their matching erections rub against each other.
“Gabriel! Wait, slow down.” Mohinder laughed in shock, trying to breath. “What…what do you want? Show me.”
Gabriel blinked, thinking. He released Mohinder, rolling off him and pulling him so he sat on the edge of the bed. He got onto his knees between Mohinder’s legs and placed his hands on his thighs, stroking them softly. “Tell me how to suck you, I want to try it.” His voice was measured and matter of fact as he stared at Mohinder’s crotch, studying it.
“Erm….OK.” Mohinder pushed down his boxers in one movement, smiling at the little sigh that escaped Gabriel’s mouth when he was naked. “Stroke me, feel what you’re going to be able to…erm, take.” Mohinder realised he was running through his first time in his head, trying to remember what was helpful, what was patronising, what made him feel bad or good. Gabriel touched him tentatively, his fingertips brushing the base of Mohinder’s cock. He smiled again as it hardened, springing up, and took it full in his hand, giving long, slow strokes. As he moved the tip to his mouth he looked up at Mohinder for instruction but saw his head hang back, eyes closed. He flattened his tongue over the wet tip and moved down until it was sat on the back of his tongue. “Oh…oh Gabriel.” Mohinder murmured as he started to move his tongue, lapping and pressing his lips tighter around the length.
Gabriel recalled every movement of Wes’s mouth on his cock, repeating it and hoping that Mohinder would respond. When he felt a gentle push on the left side of his head he moved, laving his tongue in the same direction and inwardly grinning at Mohinder’s reaction.
“Oh Gabriel, are you….are you sure this is your first time?” Mohinder meant it as a compliment but when Gabriel paused he had to back track. “I’m sorry, I know it is, I just….oh you’re so good, so responsive.” He caressed Gabriel’s hair, enjoying the feeling of it falling through his fingers.
Gabriel started to move his head, sucking and tonguing the slit as Wes had done. He felt Mohinder’s fingers pull on his hair a little and hummed around him, listening to his moans get faster and more pitched before he went silent and came in his mouth, leaving him swallowing and gulping desperately. He sat back on his knees and coughed a little before Mohinder leaned down and kissed him passionately, swirling his tongue around his mouth and taking almost every trace of himself.
Gabriel stood on shaky legs and pulled Mohinder to him so that they lay clumsily together on the messed up bed. “Was that…I mean, did I get it right?”
Mohinder smiled at Gabriel’s ability to reduce the experience to ‘right or wrong’. He remembered being the same way. “It was perfect.” He stopped short of thanking him, instead kissing him again, fingers winding in his hair. “What about you?” he whispered. “What do you want?”
Somehow Gabriel knew that ‘you’ wasn’t an answer, but as long as Mohinder was touching him he didn’t care. “Make love to me.” He said, immediately wishing he could take it back, expecting Mohinder to laugh.
“Gabriel are you sure? Do you want to sleep on it? We have all the time in the world, we don’t have to rush anything.” Mohinder looked into his eyes for any sign of doubt but Gabriel seemed determined.
“I’ll feel the same way in the morning Mohinder, I want this so much, please.” He stroked down Mohinder’s side, feeling the curve of his hip. “Please.”
Mohinder nodded, leaning down to brush his lips over Gabriel’s. If they were going to do this, it was going to be slow, and perfect.