takhallus: Dan Byrd greyscale and purple star (Default)
([personal profile] takhallus Nov. 11th, 2008 11:50 am)

Title: Undercover
Author: takhallus
Pairing: Mylar
Rating: R I guess...
Wordcount: 3582
Spoilers: Slight for season 3
Warnings: Sex talk
Disclaimer: Not mine
A/n : In response to the prompt 'undercover in a hotel as a couple' by[info]darkqueenakasha and





[community profile] mission_insane

 

 

 “Absolutely not.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes and pulled a piece of paper from his inside pocket, tossing it onto Angela’s desk. It read ‘Absolutely not’. Angela smirked.

 

“Very clever Gabriel, but I think we both could have predicted that.”

 

Mohinder and Gabriel stood before her desk in what they still referred to as Bob’s old office, out of Angela’s earshot of course. Gabriel had heard the plan already and had penned the expected response. Mohinder set his jaw and began to expand on his ‘absolutely not’ idea.

 

“There’s no reason for this, it’s absurd. No doubt it was your idea.” He looked disdainfully at Gabriel who put his hand to his heart and silently mouthed “Me?”, trying to look as incredulous as possible .

 

“It was my idea Dr Suresh. This man has an ability but he’s also a known gangster. He’s a dangerous man with dangerous associates and if you two check into that hotel he’s going to think FBI or CIA immediately.”

 

“But a couple?” Mohinder spat the word out.  “Surely there could be another explanation?”

 

Angela was fast losing patience. “Yes Doctor, maybe we could say you were identical twin brothers, would that be more convincing?”

 

Gabriel stifled a laugh. This whole thing was fantastic. Mohinder plus embarrassment plus Company sponsored mental torture was just what he needed. “I think it’s a great idea Mom. Though we will have to be thoroughly convincing, I’m sure he’s seen this trick before.”

 

Angela nodded sagely. “Well Gabriel, Noah Bennett assures me of your ability to act so I’m sure you can pull it off. It’s Dr Suresh I’m worried about.”

 

Gabriel turned to his reluctant partner. “What do you think Mohinder? Could you…pull it off?”

 

Mohinder turned and stormed out of the office. He may be forced into this humiliation but he didn’t have to go quietly. And he certainly wouldn’t allow Sy… Gabriel to get the better of him.

---------------------------------------------------

 

The next morning Mohinder tried to avoid Gabriel’s gaze as he flung his travel bag into the trunk of their rental car. He busied himself checking the oil and water, and a hundred other meaningless jobs – anything to avoid talking.

 

“It’s so nice to have a boyfriend who knows about cars, I am just hopeless.” Gabriel stood, grinning, wearing a long, wool camel coloured coat, brown leather gloves and a trendy beige striped scarf against the cold. It was a change from his usual uniform of black and Mohinder couldn’t help but notice it.

 

“What are you wearing? You look like a J. Crew catalogue.”

 

Gabriel looked down at his attire. “That’s what I was going for, it’s called building a character. I see you’ve gone with Clearance Sale at Sears.”

 

“Sears?! I….” Mohinder stopped himself. There was no need for him to rise to this. Just keep calm and in a few days it would all be over. Then he could murder Gabriel and steal that coat, which was actually rather nice. He bent over the engine as he pretended to check something. “Just get in. I’m driving.”

 

Gabriel pressed himself against Mohinder, smoothing his gloved hands over his hips as he growled into his ear. “I see you’re going to be the dominant one.”

 

Mohinder seethed quietly as Gabriel chuckled and made his way to the passenger side of the car. This was going to be the funnest trip ever.

 

 -----------------------------------------------------

 

“So let’s get our story straight. No pun intended.” Gabriel’s eyes flashed with mischief. “We’re Gabriel and Mohinder Murphy from….”

 

“What? How exactly do we have the same name?”

 

“Because we got married in 2005, haven’t you been listening?”

 

“If I did get married I’d keep my own name, Mohinder Murphy sounds ridiculous.”

 

“Okay fine, pick a fake name and we’ll go double barrelled.”

 

“Double barrelled seems so pretentious, I….” Mohinder realised too late that he was actually taking part in this charade.

 

“Well just think of something soon – we’re booked in under Murphy so I hope you won’t throw a hissy fit at the reception desk. Now, which side of the bed do you sleep on?”

 

Mohinder swerved off to the side of the road so sharply that Gabriel had to grab onto the dashboard. “What the hell are you doing?”

 

Mohinder turned off the engine and looked at Gabriel with precisely no humour in his eyes. “Now listen. I had agreed to take part in this ridiculous charade because my choice in the matter was practically nil, but if you think that I’m going to spend the next few days putting up with your frankly unfunny remarks then you can think again. Understand?”

 

“Yes, I understand.” Gabriel stared into the middle distance as Mohinder placed his hands back on the wheel. “Now you listen. You may think it’s beneath you to go this deep undercover but if that man finds out that we’re after him he will have his associates kidnap you, tie you to a chair and torture you to death. The only person that can prevent that is me, and if bests me he’ll make me watch you die before he kills me too, so lose the attitude and get that stick out of your ass or I’ll gag you myself and leave you trussed up in the hotel room while I do the grown up work. Understand?”

 

Mohinder swallowed. He’d been so busy thinking that Gabriel was having fun that he’d forgotten the  profile they’d received on the man they were trailing. Miguel Marridas was renowned for his cruelty as well as the ruthlessness which enabled him to become one of the most powerful drug lords in South America. He had a trail of bodies behind him as well as an ability which he had been told was classified, but devastating. “I understand.” He said as he started the car.

 

“Good. If you’re still feeling angry when we get to the hotel you can spank me for a while.” Gabriel almost got through the sentence without spluttering into laughter but didn’t quite make it. Mohinder put his foot down and tried to will himself not to blush.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

It was after ten when they reached the hotel in Vermont and Mohinder was tiring. He was on autopilot as they took their bags out of the car and to the hotel lobby. He stood, blinded by the opulent surroundings of the five star hotel as Gabriel dealt with their reservation. Suddenly he felt an arm around his shoulder and was jolted back into reality. “Are you okay sweetie?” Gabriel was looking at him with concern as the receptionist tried to veil her amusement.

 

“Er, yes….darling, I’m fine. Just tired.” Mohinder started to colour  - he was the world’s worst actor.

 

“I’m sure we can take care of that..” Gabriel turned to the receptionist. “That bed’s king sized, right?”

 

“Oh yes Sir,” she replied, smiling. “And so is the hot tub.”

 

Gabriel raised his eyebrows and grinned. “Excellent. Goodnight.” He took the key card and led a mortified Mohinder to the elevator, carrying both of their bags.

 

Mohinder leaned against the marbled wall, trying to keep his eyes open and his wits about him. He felt rough fingertips over his sharp cheekbone and flinched when he realised that Gabriel was lovingly stroking his face and staring deep into his eyes. Gabriel’s eyebrows twitched as if to alert Mohinder to something and it was only then that the doctor noticed that they had been joined in the elevator by a dark haired woman of about fifty. “Still tired baby?” Gabriel asked.

 

“Yes, I’m exhausted. It just came over me.” Said Mohinder, not noticing the term of endearment.

 

“It’s the cold air out here.” Gabriel’s other hand rose up to Mohinder’s face and he leaned in to kiss him gently on the forehead. Mohinder didn’t flinch this time, but he reminded himself to express his distaste at the earliest opportunity. There was no need for these public displays of affection, especially when the onlooker was a harmless middle-aged woman.

 

The woman exited the elevator at their floor and they seemed to be following her, heading for their allotted room. She let herself in to a suite and Mohinder bumped into Gabriel as he stopped abruptly in front of the next door. Gabriel swished the card key and Mohinder followed him into the room, desperate to sleep but not too tired to hold Gabriel to account for his little frisson in the elevator.

 

“What was that about? There’s no need to…” Mohinder stopped abruptly as Gabriel grabbed him and held him still against the door pressing a finger to his lips. Blinking, Mohinder kept quiet and Gabriel beckoned him to the bed whilst switching on the light.

 

As they sat down Gabriel leaned in conspiratorially “That woman was Ana Rivaldo, she’s the wife of Marridas’ second in command, which means he’s two rooms away from us.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“His room is always sandwiched between to others, to prevent people from using listening devices through the wall. They didn’t count on me though.” Gabriel smirked.

 

Mohinder remembered Dale Smither and found it less amusing, but he was still grateful that Gabriel had done his research and prevented Mohinder from giving them away in the first five minutes of the mission. He felt suddenly dependent on him.

 

“I’m going to take a shower.” Gabriel said, disappearing into the huge bathroom. Mohinder undressed robotically, dumping his clothes in a pile on the floor, and pulled the thick satin eiderdown back, slipping into bed. It was a few minutes before he realised he wasn’t actually at home, and that stripping naked was probably not the best idea in the circumstances. Hearing the shower running he got back out of bed and bent over his bag, digging around for the tshirt and pyjama pants he knew he had packed.

 

Perhaps the worst thing you can do when naked is bend over, but the second worst is snap back upright when you’re startled by a bathroom door opening, especially when you simultaneously turn towards it, giving whoever is exiting the bathroom a full frontal view. Mohinder pledged to remember this.

 

“Oh, sorry, I…” Gabriel hoped that Mohinder hadn’t seen the quick check-out he’d given his package out of pure curiosity.

 

Mohinder pulled a pillow from the bed to cover himself. “Sorry. I was just…” He gestured vaguely towards the bag. Gabriel nodded, and went back towards the bathroom before pausing.

 

“That pillow can be yours, okay?” he smiled as he closed the bathroom door behind him.

 

Mohinder looked to the heavens. Great. Gabriel had seen him naked and it was only the first night. Now who was the tease? He pulled on the tshirt and pyjamas, which were miraculously right there as he returned to the bag, and got back into bed, making sure to turn the pillow over before letting his head hit it.

-------------------------------------------------------

 

When Mohinder awoke he found himself staring at the nape of Gabriel’s neck. He stretched up to look at his watch. 5.10am. His early night had messed up his sleep pattern and now he felt horribly awake. He heaved himself up and sat staring into the room. He wanted tea and thought about calling room service but didn’t want to wake Gabriel who was sleeping soundly. Ten minutes of staring at the wall passed before Mohinder decided to wake him accidentally on purpose. First he got out of bed with as much fuss as possible, pulling the duvet and almost bouncing on the bed as he sat up. Then he went to the bathroom, remembering to flush and wash his hands under the cold tap. When he emerged, Gabriel was still asleep, and Mohinder wondered what it would take to wake him. 

 

He got back into bed and put his freezing cold hand on Gabriel’s bare shoulder. Still nothing. He shook him gently, whispering his name. Still asleep. Defeated, Mohinder lay back down, with one hand behind his head. If this freak could sleep through anything then good luck to him. He tried once last ditch attempt to wake him, jabbing him in the back roughly. Gabriel moaned and turned over, but didn’t wake, instead throwing an arm over Mohinder’s chest and nuzzling into his shoulder. I brought this on myself thought Mohinder. Now what?

 

 Mohinder reflected on how working for the Company tended to lead you to these situations. He was in a hotel room next to a powerful gangster being snuggled by the man who tried to kill him only a few months before, and had a penchant for poking at brains. He sighed and wondered what to do with his arms which were uncomfortably arranged round his head. He moved his left arm by his side, inadvertently trapping Gabriel’s hand against his chest, and moved the other between their bodies, attempting to lever Gabriel away from him. He moved his hand down trying to find a good place to push off but…

 

“Hey!” Gabriel awoke with a start. “No touching!” He rolled onto his back and pulled the sheets around him. “Mom told me I should keep an eye on you Mohinder, and I told her you’d be no threat. What gives?”

 

“I’m sorry, I was, I was trying to get you to move, you rolled onto me when I poked you.”

 

“You poked me?”

 

“I was trying to…oh never mind, just go to sleep.” Mohinder gave up on trying to explain – he was resigned to the fact that he was in a hopeless situation.

 

“I can’t sleep now,” Gabriel pouted, “you try sleeping after your partner’s been handling your balls against your will.”

 

“I was not handling. I slipped, that’s all. You don’t have to worry.”

 

Gabriel shifted to sit up in bed. “Oh I’m not worried. But if you’re going to grope me at least let me be awake to enjoy it.”

 

Mohinder ignored him, turning his back on the man and screwing his eyes shut, much to Gabriel’s annoyance. “An apology would be nice, Mohinder.”

 

“Sorry. Now I need to sleep.”

 

“A real apology. I want you to know why you’re apologising too.”

 

Frustration and the re-emergence of his tiredness made Mohinder lose his temper. “I’m sorry I groped your balls Gabriel, now can I please just get my head down!”

 

Gabriel doubled over laughing as Mohinder blanched. Gabriel was holding up the digital voice recorder they were issued with for surveillance. He pressed replay and Mohinder’s unmistakeable accent spewed forth. “I’m sorry I groped your balls Gabriel, now can I please just get my head down!”

 

Mohinder reached for it but Gabriel was too fast for him. “Give it to me Gabriel!”

 

“Give it to me Gabriel!”

 

Mohinder’s tormentor sprang out of bed and held the recorder just out of his reach. “Wow, that was classic. I think I have a new ringtone.” He pressed it again : “Give it to me Gabriel”  and Mohinder sank back onto the bed defeated.

 

“Fine, humiliate me all you want. I’m already the laughing stock of the Company for being partnered with you in the first place, my reputation can take another beating.”

 

Gabriel, still giggling, pulled himself back under the covers leaving the recorder on the nightstand. “Oh come on Mohinder, I think your reputation is more than safe. Nobody would seriously believe you were capable of any kind of indiscretion.”

 

Mohinder looked affronted. “What’s that supposed to mean? I can break the rules when I need to.”

 

Gabriel raised his eyebrows. “Okay, sure you can.”

 

“What? I can!”

 

“Mohinder who are you trying to kid, you’re so…so…”Gabriel searched for the right word. “You’re so vanilla.”

 

“I am not!” Mohinder’s voice rose a tone and Gabriel had to playfully shush him. “I am not vanilla”, he repeated quietly, self-consciously smoothing the eiderdown over his lap.

 

Gabriel smirked. “Fine, then prove it. Tell me some of your kinks in the bedroom you slutty little minx.”

 

Mohinder blinked. “I…I’m not comfortable telling you..I mean we’ve only just…”

 

Gabriel rolled his eyes and mocked him in a sing-song voice, “Van-iiii-lllaaaa!”

 

“Alright Mr Kinky, if you’re so liberated then you tell me some of yours!” Mohinder looked at him expectantly and folded his arms. There was no way Gabriel would….

 

“OK, let’s see then.” Gabriel turned his eyes to the ceiling as if searching his own imaginary directory. He lowered his eyes and sent a furtive sideways glance at Mohinder, growling his response. “Do you know what blood play is?”

 

Mohinder didn’t, but there was no way he was going to admit it. “Of course.” He said nonchalantly.

 

“Then you’ll know how exquisite it is to be jerked until you’re about to pop and getting your release by having someone open you up with tiny little cuts, teasing you until you can’t hold back and seeing your own blood and come mix together while you pant and bleed through your orgasm.” He stared at Mohinder whose mouth was hanging open beautifully. He watched him swallow hard.

 

“I… er….yes. Absolutely.” Mohinder was so incredibly out of his depth here, but Gabriel was on a roll…

 

“I love the feel of tree bark against my back while someone’s sucking me, even better if it’s raining. In fact everything about the forest, the smell of the leaves, the possibility of being caught, the cold air on my wet skin…You ever been tied up? What with?”

 

Mohinder coughed “I erm, yes.”

 

Gabriel raised his eyebrows. “Well? What with?”

 

Think, Mohinder, think, or he’ll know you’re lying. “Electrical tape and ….flex.” He looked for Gabriel’s reaction, he was suddenly quiet.

 

“Really?” he said curiously.

 

Mohinder breathed a silent sigh of relief and tried to stutter through the made up story. “Yes. Tied up. To a lab stool. Couldn’t move.”

 

“Wow…..” Gabriel shifted down in the bed and made himself comfortable, facing Mohinder. “So…what happened next? Was it a stool with a back on it?”

 

“Er…no. I was…sat on the floor with my hands tied through it.”

 

“Were you naked?” Gabriel didn’t even flinch when he asked. He knew Mohinder was lying, but he was intrigued to know how far he would take this.

 

“I…yes, of course. Obviously.”  He shrugged as if he was Guest Editor of Kinks Monthly and prayed to all the Gods he knew that there would be no further questions.

 

“Who did it to you?”

 

Oh Gods. “It was a lab assistant.” Keep to the short answers, Mohinder thought, don’t give up too much information. You never know, he might suddenly die of shock, and then this ordeal will be over.

 

Gabriel was now more intrigued than he liked to admit. He knew that if he got Mohinder to describe this made up sexual partner he’d have a clue as to who he was hot for at the Company and that would be more than fun.

 

“So, was he hot?” Surely Mohinder would know this was a trap, Gabriel thought.

 

“Oh yes. Very.”

 

Gabriel pounced – “So it was a guy? Mohinder, I had no idea you swung that way.”

 

Mohinder froze. Whatthefuckhadhejustsaid? “I well, you know. I’m very open minded, so…..” So, this imaginary person could really be anyone. Mohinder, you idiot.

 

“Evidently.” Gabriel had to give Mohinder credit, he was so scared of being called a prude that he was painting himself as this bisexual sex maniac.

 

“What about you? I mean do you..swing that way? You know…” Mohinder shrugged, “just out of curiosity.”

 

“Oh no, I’m non-negotiable on that score.”

 

Mohinder smiled. So who was vanilla now?

 

“No, I’m all about the cock.” Gabriel nodded.

 

Mohinder stopped breathing. “Right. I see. Good to know.” Good to know!? Mohinder please please stop talking you complete idiot.

 

“So come on Mohinder, describe this hot guy to me.” Gabriel felt that this was too easy but there was no way he was going to stop now.

 

“Well, he was…” Don’t say he was American, he’ll think you’re attracted to Americans. “He was Indian, and he was…” Don’t say he had dark hair, he’ll think you like guys with dark hair. “He was blonde.” Damn, we didn’t think this through.

 

“A blonde Indian guy?” Gabriel knew the score, Mohinder was trying to bluff him. So it was really a dark haired guy who wasn’t Indian. Interesting. “Tell me more.”

 

“He was…” Don’t say he was tall, he’ll think you like tall guys. “Short, and er, skinny.”

 

“So he was a short, skinny Indian guy with blonde hair? Sounds…..interesting. So is that your type?” Gabriel wanted so much to laugh.

 

Mohinder didn’t answer. “What’s your type?”

 

Gabriel shuffled towards him, but Mohinder didn’t dare back off. He was a crazy bisexual sex maniac right? He didn’t back away from half naked men, even if they did have such big arms and bee-stung lips and dark, brooding oh stop, stop, stop!

 

“Well Mohinder, you might say I like my men like I like my tea.” Gabriel walked two fingers up Mohinder’s shoulder as the other man looked on, apprehensively. “Hot…..sweet…..and from India.”

 

They both collapsed in laughter and shushed each other as the tension broke. “Oh, hilarious”, Mohinder said. “I’ve never heard that one before.”

 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.” Gabriel settled down, his head on the pillow, and yawned. “I’m going to try and salvage the last two hours of darkness, it was fun talking to you though.” He reached out again and squeezed Mohinder’s shoulder before closing his eyes.

 

Mohinder lay down, facing him. “It was. Good night Gabriel.”

 

 

 

Part 2

From: [identity profile] levitatethis.livejournal.com


This is way too much fun. I can't wait to see the continuation! I really enjoy the humour throughout this entire piece. It's funny and snarky, it's suggestive and revealing.

LOL I think we all know Mohinder's reaction to Angela's suggestion would be "Absolutely not" :-) And you played it out in the most fun way possible while still couching it in a storyline that makes sense (needing an undercover identity to follow a very dangerous man).

The ending of this is a blast. Gabriel enjoying Mohinder's unease...Mohinder trying to make up someone he's interested in (someone doesn't want to admit he's into Gabriel) but Gabriel figuring out that Mohinder is describing the opposite of what he means. But I also like that Gabriel doesn't realize it's him who Mohinder is trying not to describe.

At this point Gabriel jus wants to mess about with his mind (like the tape recorder bit) but I'd love to know his reaction when the truth comes out :-)

From: [identity profile] takhallus.livejournal.com


Thanks, I'm having so much fun writing this, I'd written 10 pages before I knew where I was! More soon!

From: [identity profile] darkqueenakasha.livejournal.com

Bravo!!!


I laughed so many times reading this. My favorite lines were..

..Gabriel looked down at his attire. “That’s what I was going for, it’s called building a character. I see you’ve gone with Clearance Sale at Sears.”

...“That pillow can be yours, okay?” he smiled as he closed the bathroom door behind him.
(I bet Sy wanted to snif it XD)

...“I can’t sleep now,” Gabriel pouted, “you try sleeping after your partner’s been handling your balls against your will.” (*tears w/ laughter*)

I loved the vanilla and the blonde haired Indian.

WIN. Great story!!!




From: [identity profile] takhallus.livejournal.com

Re: Bravo!!!


Aw, thanks for taking the time to go through fave lines, it was a great prompt and got me moving straight away! xx

From: [identity profile] capt-ruffknight.livejournal.com


OMG this was absolutely hilarious! Gosh Gabriel is such a naughty little boy! And Mo getting himself all mixed up, trying to bluff his way through Gabriel! Hee. Loved the banter, the plot. Do post more soon!

And while I'm at it, I love Now say Ah too! I like how Sylar's the one who's hurting and needs fixing!

From: [identity profile] takhallus.livejournal.com


Thanks so much, I will be posting more soon, after the next part of Now Say Ah, thanks so much for commenting x

From: [identity profile] blossommorphine.livejournal.com


Oh, god, Mohinder, you should stick with your day job. That line, "I like my tea" is damn priceless. This was truly fluffy, squee-tastic. Everything was. "Why are you sorry?"

I have to stop before I quote the whole damn thing! XD Great job, great story.

From: [identity profile] takhallus.livejournal.com


Thanks! I had to work that tea line in somewhere ;-)

From: [identity profile] brandinsbabe.livejournal.com


haha oh man, that was fantastic! i love how they can be so incredibly adorable with each other and be so antagonistic at the same time.

Gabriel looked down at his attire. “That’s what I was going for, it’s called building a character. I see you’ve gone with Clearance Sale at Sears.”

i loved that so much lol. i can just see them having this conversation and Mohinder getting all flustered.

i'm so glad there is gonna be more to this!!! :D

From: [identity profile] kingmarfy.livejournal.com


Gabriel looked down at his attire. “That’s what I was going for, it’s called building a character. I see you’ve gone with Clearance Sale at Sears.”

Is it weird that all I can think about when I read this line is: What is Mohinder wearing?

Aww. This was cute. I love Now Say Ah, but fluffy relief is always welcome.

From: [identity profile] bonniesrg.livejournal.com


WOW You write comedy as well as the intense fics and I'm looking forward to the next part.

From: [identity profile] takhallus.livejournal.com


That's nice of you to say - I think they're two sides of the same coin personally x

From: [identity profile] shimmeree.livejournal.com


I think I just lmfao! This was so brilliant I can't even put it into words. Update soon!!!

From: [identity profile] brokenbacktango.livejournal.com


MORE! :D This was absolutely delightful! I can't wait to see how this little mission of theirs unfolds...

From: [identity profile] takhallus.livejournal.com


Me neither! It's not planned out, so any requests are welcome!

From: [identity profile] original-tinks.livejournal.com


Aw God. This killed me. Absolutely slayed me!! Gabriel...wicked!

"So a blonde Indian guy huh?"

LOL!!!

More soon plz. =D

From: [identity profile] takhallus.livejournal.com


Sorry it took me so long to reply, I fail at LJ! Thanks so much for kind words x

From: [identity profile] aurilly.livejournal.com


This entire thing was hysterical! I love love LOVED the sex talk and poor vanilla Mohinder giving himself away with such terrible lies. The hanging mouth at the description of the blood play was amazing. Can't wait for more. :)

From: [identity profile] takhallus.livejournal.com


LOL it was such fun to write the bad lies, poor old Vanilla Mo!

From: [identity profile] buttermilkwaffl.livejournal.com


*giggles madly* You know, I think this might be my favorite incarnation of the "undercover as a couple" cliche fic. It's been done a million times in different fandoms, but you make it hilarious and enjoyable. I'd count this one as a win in my book.

From: [identity profile] takhallus.livejournal.com


Wow, thanks so much! And sorry it took me so long to reply x x

From: [identity profile] geuna.livejournal.com


Quite possibly the most hilarious "digging you own grave" scene EVER. XD

From: [identity profile] takhallus.livejournal.com


lol thankyou. Mohinder does know how to back himself into a corner doesn't he?

From: [identity profile] anansie-s.livejournal.com


“Well, he was…” Don’t say he was American, he’ll think you’re attracted to Americans. “He was Indian, and he was…” Don’t say he had dark hair, he’ll think you like guys with dark hair. “He was blonde.” Damn, we didn’t think this through.

I almost hurt myself laughing here.

From: [identity profile] hogochan.livejournal.com


Oh my gawd oh my gawd!
"No, I'm all about the cock."
That was hilarious! I laughed so hard I cried! *dies*
.

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