takhallus

Title: Rorschach
Author: takhallus
Pairing: Mylar
Rating: G
Wordcount: 902
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: If it were up to me, Heroes would be like this every week. Thank goodness it's not.
A/N : For the prompt "A potato, a dead crow and a piece of my bicycle" by the

mission_insane community.

Sylar furrowed his brow and exhaled roughly, trying to clear his head.

“A potato” he finally said.

“A dead crow” he continued.

“And….a piece of my bicycle.” He sat back and looked at Mohinder, who placed the Rorschach test cards back onto the desk slowly.

“Well, as if we needed any further proof…you’re insane.” Mohinder took up a pen and started to fill in the Company issue psych evaluation.

“Oh come on! These things have been dismissed as quackery a million times, how can you pretend to know what those responses mean?”

“I can’t, but I do know that your responses were lies, and that makes me suspect that your true answers would mark you out as clearly ga-ga. That’s what I’ll be reporting to the Company.”

Sylar stood abruptly and loomed over the desk, taking Mohinder’s pen. “I think I’d like a second opinion” he growled.

“Fine. I’m going to ask you a series of questions and believe me there’s no way you could possibly mislead me on this one. Close your eyes.”

Sylar hesitated for the slightest moment before huffing and closing his eyes. He gripped the arms of his chair.

Mohinder moved round to sit on the front of the desk. “What is your favourite colour?”

Sylar opened his eyes wearily. “Seriously Mohinder? What’s next, which do I like best, puppies or unicorns?”

“Just answer the question. And keep those eyes closed.”

“Blue. My favourite colour is blue and if I had a daughter I’d call her Beyonce.”

“Very amusing. Give me a word that describes the colour blue.”

“Cold.”

“What is your favourite animal?”

“A great white shark.”

“Lies. What’s your real favourite animal?”

“Okay fine, a snail.” When he heard Mohinder snigger Sylar opened his eyes. “What? I like the way they move.”

“Whatever. Keep those eyes closed or I’ll blindfold you. Now, give me a word that describes the snail.”

“Independent.”

“Now. What is your favourite body of water?”

“What kind of loser has a favourite body of water?”

“Just answer me.”

Sylar thought for a while. “The East River.”

“And a word to describe the East River?”

“Dirty.”

“OK, now I want you to imagine you’re in a dark room. You’re naked…”

“Easy tiger.”

Mohinder paused and continued. “You’re naked and there’s a light shining on you from above. Pick a word to describe how you feel.”

“I’d feel like Noah Bennett was about to walk in the door.”

“One word!”

“Fine…erm…nervous.”

“Okay, you can open your eyes now.”

Sylar opened his eyes and let them adjust to the light, jumping as he saw Mohinder in such close proximity. “So what’s the verdict? Which Backstreet Boy am I going to marry?”

Mohinder picked up the psych test and started scribbling. “Well, the answer to the first question, about the colour, is how you see yourself. And you said ‘cold’. That’s very interesting.”

Sylar rolled his eyes.

“The answer about the animal is how you want people to see you, and you said independent. Also interesting.”

Mohinder leaned down towards Sylar and looked him directly in the eye. “And the most interesting of all, how you describe the body of water is how you see sex. And you said ‘dirty’.

Sylar scoffed. “That’s just ridiculous, there are limited ways you can describe a body of water.” He stood and pulled a bemused Mohinder up off the desk, snaking his lips round to his ear. “Deep. Wet. Powerful. Uncontrollable….” He locked his eyes onto Mohinder’s, licked his lips coquettishly and bounced his eyebrows. “Expansive.”

Mohinder stared right back. “Cold, dangerous, full of crabs…”

“Oh you’re hilarious. So what does the last answer mean? That I secretly want to wear dresses and hang out at the docks?”

“It’s how you think about death. You said you’d be nervous, which is very telling.”

“No it isn’t! Surely anyone who says ‘accepting’ or ‘comfortable’ when asked how they’d feel to be naked with a spotlight on them is nuts!”

Mohinder slapped the psych test down on the table. “You’re right of course. I don’t need pop quizzes to know that you’re not quite the full ticket.”

“Well what about you Dr Suresh, why do you qualify to give these tests? You’re not a psychiatrist, you could be just as crazy as the rest of us!” Sylar snatched up the tests and read them as Mohinder grasped too late.

Sylar read silently for a moment, and then looked at Mohinder like he was a naughty child. “You downloaded these from the internet. The Company didn’t even ask you to do this did they?”

Mohinder smirked. “It was for my own…research. I erm…”

“You wanted to know whether I like dirty sex?”

“No! I …. I was bored. They’ve got me cooped up here,” he stuttered through his answer. “I wanted someone to talk to.”

Sylar cocked his head and gave a smile that was half consoling and half triumphant. He put a playful arm around Mohinder’s shoulders and picked up the test. “I have an idea which might relieve your boredom for a while…”

“What is your favourite body of water?”

Parkman tried to block out Sylar’s thoughts which were transmitting pure filth. Suresh was thinking in Tamil. Dammit.

“Er….Lake Titicaca?”

Sylar and Mohinder looked at each other. This was going to be a fun day.

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